Good news movie fans, the first part of the FINAL installment of The Twilight Saga is FINALLY HERE! Bad news? There is still a part to to look forward to…
Let’s start with the source novel, Breaking Dawn is by far the worse book in this mediocre series. Yes the “Romeo and Juliet” of our pre-teen dreams FINALLY make honest people out of each other, and then do the nasty… Well there you go
Although as a stand alone film, it kind of bothered me how they just jumped into the wedding, there wasn’t a lot of build up or set up to the whole event. Which isn’t a problem if you’ve read the books, but for the people who don’t actually know what’s suppose to happen this could all be a little confusing. Although since I (reluctantly admit) actually have read all four books, I like that the filmmakers skipped that whole thing with the bulletproof car and Bella telling her dad that she’s getting married. THAT seemed a little pointless and stupid. Though lets be honest, by the time Eclipse was published, Breaking Dawn could have been written in crayon and covered in dog shit and still made Ms. Meyers 10 million dollars… I apologize Twihards, I don’t have much of a reason to be so hard on the shinny ones, considering that my favorite children/young adult fantasy writer J.K. Rowling is a bona fided billionaire and Ms Charlaine Harris (True Blood) isn’t doing to bad for herself either.
Let’s get back to the problem at hand, shall we? Well actually, problems… Starting with Stephanie Meyer’s vampire rules. So every vampire novelist likes to add their own little twist to Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Anne Rice made them never changing, Charlaine Harris made them ‘the vampires next door’ and Stephanie made hers sparkle… there’s no accounting for taste. Although from what I recall, Stephanie Meyer’s vampires don’t change either, so my question is, why do they all have different hairstyles? Also there is clearly sun shining, so why are there no sparkles? Honestly the attention to detail in this movie was just atrocious. It was also painfully clear that director Bill Condon, didn’t have any experience in special effects. I’m sorry but once again I have to say, a series with THIS much attention, it’d be nice to see a director take SOME pride in what they are doing. Even if everyone is showing up for Bella, Edward and Jacob and not the quality of the film itself.
Okay-dokie, now for some good stuff, well some girly stuff. As a female, I have to say that wedding was amazing! Bella’s dress, the scenery, and the beautiful vintage clip her parents gave her? Just beautiful, although I’d never be able to pull of a dress like that, I still found the wedding to be perfectly wonderful and dream-like. Even if no amount of movie magic seems to be able to hide the dark circles under Kristen Stewart’s eyes and she always does that cross eyed thing when she gets a close up… Well that didn’t last long. Seriously though, the costumes and scenery, hair and make-up was all very well done. Even if it contradicted some of the earlier set out vampire rules. I also liked Edward taking Bella to dance with the natives in Rio (which seems to be the movie hot spot these days.) That was a cute little moment.
The wedding was nice and everything went pretty well, until Jacob showed up and said what everyone was thinking: HE’S MADE OF STONE, HE’LL KILL YOU! Now if only his magical vampire blood could cure any ailment… After one very intense night of passion, our lovely couple going on to have a very boring honeymoon, what is until Bella feels the kick! Edward then flies into action rushing his new wife back home to bet rid of “that thing.” Which I have to admit, even for someone as self-loathing as Edward Cullen that’s a little harsh. I have to say I agree with Bella on this one, as do most women I suppose, we’d do just about anything for our children. This is also the point in the film where things start to get good. Bella and Edward’s little demon spawn start to suck the life out of it’s mother a la Rosemary’s Baby.
Something that kind of bothered me was the overall “message” I got from this movie. As we all know, abstinence is a BIG part of Bella and Edward’s relationship. So even though, they waited, they were still subjected to some pretty unpleasant sex, Edward having to hold back so he doesn’t kill his wife, and Bella STILL ends up getting bruised. Which makes me feel the need to remind all of the young ladies out there who might be reading this, LOVE DOES NOT HURT, sex should not be this dangerous. Then, even after restraining himself, Edward still ends up getting Bella pregnant! Pregnant with a life-sucking, half stone child who only wants blood I might add. So I don’t understand, you’re suppose to wait until you’re married to have sex with a beautiful gentlemen, and yet you still end up getting hurt and being left with a life-threatening side-effect… Though I guess it’s nice to have someone address the fact that the first time isn’t always… comfortable.
Overall, Breaking Dawn, Part 1, isn’t the worse movie ever made, but it’s not best either. As I said before, Breaking Dawn was, in my opinion, the worse of the Twilight books. It also happens to be the worst of the Twilight movies, for one simple reason, NOTHING HAPPENS. By the end of the book everything worked out so perfectly, that it was actually laughable. Though there wasn’t a lot of laughing at the end of Part 1, and I have to say, the last 20 minutes or so of the film were actually pretty good. I also liked how Condon ended the film, I won’t spoil it for you, but it was dramatic, and just about the only scene in which special effects were used well.
So here’s how I see things, if you liked the book, you will like this movie. If you like Bella and Edward, you’ll like this movie. If you haven’t seen any of these films or read any of the books, or you’ve been living under a rock for the past 5 years, and have no idea what Twilight is, you probably shouldn’t be watching this movie. In fact, I have no idea how you actually got to this page, and I’d advise you to look up some other vampire love stories. Start with Let the Right One In, a 2008 Swedish, romantic, horror film directed by Tomas Alfredson, about a bullied 12-year-old boy who develops a crush on an odd “12” year-old “girl.” Then there’s the 2010 American remake, Let Me In, directed by Matt Reeves and starring Kodi Smit-McPhee (of the upcoming Romeo & Juliet remake) and Chloë Grace Moretz (of Kick-Ass and Hugo). Then check out the HBO series, True Blood with sweetheart Sookie Stackhouse and the vampire next door Bill Compton, which just finished it’s 4th season. And, if you’re still looking for a little demon baby, Satan worshiping, baby snatchers, check out Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby (the film that brought Mia Farrow to fame).
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1 gets a D+ in this weeks (well, last weeks) movie madness with me, the Movie Junkie! See it if you must, but if you can help it see one of the 3 movies I mentioned above, or check out True Blood – seasons 1-3 on DVD.